S. Nungesser (contributor/images)
Vijay Shah (editor)
It’s been a long time coming, but today the Half-Eaten Mind brings you a Humour Moment kindly donated by a friend who submitted it by email. It’s a quick and ruthless coffee-table joke about how some people never grow old graciously but also makes a giggle of that blessed ecstasy in getting a second chance at life, even though that chance might get quickly taken away, as the lady in the joke unfortunately finds out.
Whether it’s ‘mutton dressed as lamb’, embarrassing their grandchildren with blood-curdling renditions of Take That songs, or splattering on a bit too much make-up and lavender perfume, some optimistic ladies of a certain age might want to take heed.
A 54 year old woman had
a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she
asked “Is my time up?”
God said, “No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had
someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?”
God replied: “I didn’t bloody recognize you.”
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