OUR HIGH-TECH FUTURE: 5 technologies that will shape our tomorrow

Have you ever wondered what kind of technologies will become established in our world in the next 20, 30 or 50 years? Super-thin mobile phones with holographic screens, robot servants, perhaps those flying cars from the Back to the Future films we are still waiting on?. Well I do not keep a crystal ball in my bedroom, but in August 2017, Spanish-language online magazine TecNovedosos played soothsayer and predicted what technologies we might be using and experiencing in our daily lives in the future, perhaps as early as the next decade.

Technology has made leaps and bounds in the past few years. Just remember that only ten years ago, smartphones were just getting on the market, and you can realise the rapid strides we have made in innovation. Here are the five technological developments that could be coming to a house, high street or hospital (maybe) near you.

 

Artificial intelligence (AI) and clones

In 1996, the world witnessed the birth of the world’s first cloned animal, Dolly the sheep. Today we have robo-lawyers that can help fill out asylum applications, virtual holographic assistant on the London ‘Tube’ and every other website seems to have a chatbot. Virtual assistants like Siri and Google Assistant are now a standard feature on many phones. In the future, these ‘e-ssistants’ could become more human-like, perhaps crossing into physical technology as cyborgs, which could talk like us and be almost indistinguishable from flesh-and-blood humans.

Super processors

British scientists are said to be working on a ‘quantum computer’ the size of a sports stadium. This super-comp will have processing power far greater than any current system we have in place currently. It is hoped that this massive hunk of circuitry may unlock cures for diseases that now cannot be treated, solve complex scientific problems and even the enigmas of life.

Smart objects

The ‘internet of things’ is a interconnected setup where electronics like your refrigerator, microwave and heating systems, for example, are linked up via the internet to enable you to run your house and life better. For example, your fridge could tip you off if your milk is about to go off, or if you need to stock up on carrots. An IoT fridge could even place the shopping order for you based on what it detects inside it. In the future, advances in nanotechnology could see microscopic computing systems incorporated into everyday objects such as clothing and hygiene devices, that could even be controlled by your voice. Imagine telling your mop to jump out and start cleaning your kitchen.

Surgical nano-robots

We already have robots that can perform surgery and tiny endoscope cameras that can be swallowed as a pill. Future developments in nano-technology could point the way for microscopic robots that can be delivered into the bloodstream via a simple injection and identify or even obliterate harmful viruses or cells, such as that found with cancer.

A longer life

Some scientists think that within the next century, humans will not find it strange if they make it past their 150th birthday. Researchers in the US working with genetics have found ways to switch off the genes associated with ageing in human bodies. By deactivating them, they could extend the lifespans of certain cells. By 2030, it is hoped that doctors will be able to make their patients live longer just by doing a bit of genetic tinkering, without harming the patient’s health.

What other technological developments do you think will revolutionise our future in the next ten years? Please leave your ideas in the comments section below this post.

SOURCES:

Vijay Shah { विजय }, Twitter, Twitter Inc. https://twitter.com/VShah1984

Alexander Ochoa, Twitter, Twitter Inc. https://twitter.com/AlexanderOchoaQ

“Las 5 tecnologías que cambiarán el mundo en los próximos años” – ANews via TecNovedosos (14 August 2017) https://www.tecnovedosos.com/tecnologias-cambiaran-mundo/

IMAGE CREDIT:

“Future Connected City: 2086” – JCT 600, Flickr (12 August 2016) https://www.flickr.com/photos/143789194@N03/28650310590

 

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SULLEE J: Special appearance with Eminem & Beyonce

 

2018 could well be the year that goes places for Baltimore rapper and musician Sullee J (Sullee Justice). The artist, well known for his many collaborations with other artists from the northern United States involved in the hip-hop and rap genres, has had many of these linkups covered here on HEM News Agency. But, just as 2018 is only a week old, Sullee J has ramped up things to another level, making a special brief cameo in the new Eminem single “Walk on Water”. Veteran rapper Eminem, behind many early hits such as ‘Stan’, ‘Lose Yourself’ and ‘The Way I Am’, has recently returned with a vengeance to the music scene, and for Walk on Water, the blond fast-talking one has teamed up with the original Queen Bey of R&B, Beyoncé.

To celebrate the recent collab with Eminem, he has released a special remix of the latter’s new hit ‘River’, itself a collaboration with British pop singer Ed Sheeran. River comes off of the album Revival, which was released under Eminem’s own labels in December 2017. Alongside the remix, Sullee has also put out a funky lyrics-only video on YouTube, which you can check out below. A free MP3 download of the River remix has also been made available on Soundcloud.

 

officialsulleej.com

SOURCES/IMAGE CREDIT:

Sullee J.

ONLINE AND BORED?: Some fun sites to pass the time

Right now, I am off work for three weeks because of annual leave and the Christmas and New Year break, so I spend some time on the Internet. Every once in a while, the dark brooding spectre of boredom casts its long shadow upon me, and I found myself in front of the laptop, fingers twitching. I literally cannot think of anything to do. When boredom strikes, and I do not want to leave the laptop’s side, I fill up the dead time by Googling something, binge-watching YouTube videos, browsing the Facebook newsfeed or checking out some graphic design.

Until today that is… a journalist with the website Citispotter has been kind enough to dig up some impressive sites that are the perfect medicine for when boredom strikes. Give the cat videos a rest and have a look at these fun websites which will change your outlook on life, keep your fingers occupied and make boredom yesterday’s news.

 

Silk – Interactive Generative Art weavesilk.com

This is a website where you can generate your own art of fiery wisps of smoke like something out of a progressive rock video or something. Release your inner punk artist and make pretty thangs!. You can also save and share your designs. Silk is also available for download on iPads and iPhones.

Simon Game freesimon.org

The online version of the cult 1980s memory game invented by Baer, Morrison and Cope. You have a round device with buttons that plays a sequence which you have to repeat. Good brain exercise!

Online Eye Test – PersonalEYES personaleyes.com.au/online-eye-test

It is always important to have regular eye tests at the opticians, but what if you are stuck at home, you are not going out and the opticians are closed. Well’ you can try an online eye test like the one linked above and see if your peepers are up to scratch. Ideally it’s best to use a desktop computer so you can keep the approved distance from the screen.

FamilySearch familysearch.org

Run by the Mormons (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) from their headquarters in Utah, USA. FamilySearch is the world’s largest genealogical portal, where you might be able to find details of your ancestors and long-lost relatives. Who knows, you may have royal blood?

Prey preyproject.com

This is very handy if you want to keep a close eye on your electronic goods. Oriented towards safeguarding our iPhones/iPads/Mac Airbooks, Prey lets you track and find your devices with a single account, should they get stolen or lost. Around 8.5 million devices are protected by Prey. The tracker can even take a secret picture of the thief if they start using your device as well as gathering data useful for the police or the courts.

Documentary Heaven documentaryheaven.com

Do you love to sit back with a hot chocolate and David Attenborough or Bear Grylls on the box. Now you can watch documentaries on your PC for free with Documentary Heaven. Current must-watch highlights include docs on the Cassini spacecraft, former EastEnders actor Ross Kemp exploring the Libyan migrant crisis and a report on torture in American prisons.

Codecademy codecademy.com

A personal favourite of this article’s author, Codecademy is a free online coding school where you can learn HTML5, CSS, JavaScript and other computing doohickeys at your own pace. The courses are broken down into easy to digest lessons with lots of interactivity and guidance. There are also fun side projects and quizzes to test your new skills. Coding has been described as the literacy of the future, so this could be a game-changer for your future career.

Rainy Mood rainymood.com

If you are not only bored but unable to sleep, then this might be right down your street, or bedroom. Rainy Mood plays different kinds of sounds associated with rain, making it also ideal for people relaxing and studying. Just don’t fall asleep on your device and wreck it by drooling over it.

calibre – E-book management calibre-ebook.com

This is a handy utility for people who love to read but are crap at organising. Download Calibre and it will organise your e-books into virtual libraries. Not only that, but apparently you can use it to create your own books and sync your collection with your other devices.

Duolingo duolingo.com

A renowned website where you can learn major world languages for free with assessments to reinforce your learning. The lessons are fun and gamified and you can learn at your own pace and even in your lunch breaks.

Freerice freerice.com

Not only do you get to end your boredom, but you can also help end world hunger with Freerice. Play its multiple-choice quizzes and every time you win a quiz, 10 grains of rice are donated to the World Food Programme. Created by John Breen in 2007, Freerice makes altruism fun.

SOURCES:

HEM News Agency, Twitter, Twitter Inc. https://twitter.com/halfeatenmind

“17 Interesting Things You Can Do On Internet When You Are Getting Bored” – Samia Subhan Qureshi, Citispotter (19 November 2016) http://citispotter.com/17-interesting-things-you-can-do-on-internet-when-you-are-getting-bored/?utm_source=0fbf7af4023e137b83d442372117db9c

IMAGE CREDIT:

“Free stock photo of computer, desk, electronics” – Burst, Pexels https://www.pexels.com/photo/computer-desk-electronics-indoors-374074/

 

SULLEE J: Pay Homage ft. Fudge

 

Accomplished Baltimore rap artist Sullee Justice (Sullee J) returns with a brand new single off his fresh new EP album “Spear”, released this past Wednesday. The single, “Pay Homage” is a special collaboration with local talent Fudge, with production by Valentine Beats.

Pay Homage focuses on the passion that fuels an artist as they head for their big break and struggles they face as they try to climb to the top of their game. One hundred percent animated and with backing vocals from both Sullee and Fudge, you hear the struggle told as a story while navigating life, police corruption, Islamophobia, crime and other issues of now. Even the Donald makes an appearance sitting in the Oval Room, voting people off like he was an America’s Got Talent judge.

The video highlights the hypocrisy in the American mainstream media, particularly against the Muslim community and how certain circumstances are staged in order to encourage hatred against a minority.

Pay Homage’s amazing new video can be viewed on the official GlobalFaction YouTube channel and you can also listen free of charge and download it to your Spotify album here.

officialsulleej.com

#TeamJustice

 

 

SOURCE/CREDITS:

Team Justice, GlobalFaction

FACEBOOK COMMENTS: Three new comment tricks (tested out by HEM News Agency)

If you are a regular Facebook user, then you are probably really big on leaving comments on pictures, posts and videos you like (or make you want to kick in your computer screen). You have seen all sorts of comments, ranging from the downright weird and the abusive, to declarations of love (finished off with a tonne of hearts and heart-eyes emojis, no doubt), mini essays on intellectual topics and politics, and gushing comments. You probably know your way around Zuckerberg’s pet project very well. Right? Well maybe not! Let me explain.

As you may know, Facebook has recently introduced many major and minor changes to the website experience and interface design, for example adding extra emojis to show reactions to posts (instead of the bog-standard thumbs up like) and introducing Twitter-style round display pictures for personal profiles and public pages alike.  But did you know there are three more ‘Easter eggs’ to be discovered, when you write a comment using certain special words? Well, you are about to find out here (thanks to BetterMe). The author will also be testing them out himself live and giving his own impression, because you know sometimes it has to be seen to be believed.

 

  1. Congratulations!!

This one is really epic and perfect for the party people. So your sister has announced her engagement, your best mate is having a baby, or your housemate has just winged a new promotion at work. What do you say? Well surely a congratulations is in order!. If you type in the word ‘congratulations’ or ‘congrats’ into the comment box, your screen will suddenly be filled with a cascade of cartoon balloons and confetti. It is brief, lasting a few seconds, but it is really cute and contemporary and just adds to the happy atmosphere. While the standard congrats earns a flurry of orange and blue party stuff, if you congratulate the birth of a baby, you get instead pink or blue balloons depending on whether the new bundle of joy is a girl or boy. Mood mode made!

2. Heart-to-heart

Feeling in lurve? Fingers twitching to spread some virtual affection to your bestie, bae, or even bro (nothing wrong in a little bromance!). Give that extra oomph to your affections by typing ‘XOXO’ into the comment box. Your screen will fill with hearts (sadly, I tested this at the time of writing and it appears not to be working) so you can drop some love on your loved ones’ newsfeeds.

3. Give them the thumbs-up

Apparently, if you type in the word ‘Rad’, your screen will become a waterfall of thumbs ups. The unmistakable Facebook fist of appreciation is a highly recognisable symbol that has become a defining moment of social media. Unfortunately at the time of writing, this feature appears to be not working also, so I am a little disappointed. 

 

So while sadly, only one of three of these comment gems appears to be working in the UK at least, do not fret. You can also spice up your comments by inserting an image by clicking on the small camera icon to the right inside the comment box, or to make things really interesting, throw in a GIF by clicking on the GIF icon to the immediate right of the camera one. The GIF feature is one of Facebook’s latest and has proved a huge hit. It makes use of extensive GIF libraries run by GIPHY and tenor, two influential animated image repositories.

You will become king/queen of comments in no time…

SOURCES:

Marie Hiles via Facebook.

“3 Facebook comment secrets that you didn’t know” – Giuzel Sadiieva, BetterMe/BetterMe.tips https://betterme.tips/8381-3-facebook-comment-secrets-didnt-know.html#8381

IMAGE CREDIT:

“Facebook Favourites Menu” – Mixy Lorenzo, Flickr (30 October 2011) https://www.flickr.com/photos/ladymixy-uk/6328712598

LONELY PLANET: Travel guide’s top destinations for 2017

This time last year, renowned travel and adventure guide Lonely Planet published a list of recommendations for travellers in 2017, for top countries and regions that the adventurous globetrotter just had to check out. Lonely Planet got together with people in the know, and spoke with numerous publishers, travel authors and members of its travelling subscriber community. It then compiled their recommendations in the magazine ‘Best In Travel’, listing the ten best cities, regions and countries the energetic and fun-loving trip junkie must visit for this year. Yes, 2017 is only good for three months more, but these destinations are planning to stick around for much longer, and are perfect for your 2018 travel plans.

 

COUNTRIES:

Canada – The land of the maple leaf, ice hockey and scrummy Tim Horton’s doughnuts made the number one slot in Lonely Planet’s guide. According to the guide, Canada’s rise to the top was helped by the election of its prime minister Justin Trudeau, whose arrival in Ottawa heralded a wave of national optimism. Other factors cited included the favourable exchange rate for Canadian dollars and the festivities the country is organising to celebrate 150 years of confederation which created Canada as a single political entity.

Colombia – after decades as a no-go zone due to an ongoing civil war, Colombia recently saw the signing of peace treaties between the government and far-left jungle rebels, and finally after 50 years of conflict, things are looking up for this undiscovered South American locale. This hope and the country’s outstanding natural beauty, vibrant culture and friendly people means Colombia takes the runner-up prize.

The top 10 countries – 

  1. Canada
  2. Colombia
  3. Finland
  4. Dominica
  5. Nepal
  6. Bermuda
  7. Mongolia
  8. Oman
  9. Myanmar
  10. Ethiopia

CITIES:

In first place for the best cities to visit in 2017, is the picturesque southern French city of Bordeaux. Lonely Planeters rated Bordeaux for its fine gastronomy, and no surprises, its vineyards and wine-making. After Cape Town in South Africa in second place, Los Angeles in the US came third, for its cultural, gastronomic and commercial diversity. Neighbouring Mexico’s Merida appears in fourth position, buoyed by its nomination as American City of Culture 2017, and its food culture.

The top 10 cities – 

  1. Bordeaux, France
  2. Cape Town, South Africa
  3. Los Angeles, USA
  4. Mérida, Mexico
  5. Ohrid, Macedonia
  6. Pistoia, Italy
  7. Seoul, South Korea
  8. Lisbon, Portugal
  9. Moscow, Russia
  10. Portland, USA

REGIONS:

Latin America has done favourably well in the most rated regions by Lonely Planet. Leading the pack is the Peruvian region of Choquequirao (Apurimac Valley), which was lauded by travellers for its unique opportunities to immerse oneself in the local Inca culture. Latin America is also represented at sixth place, with Chile’s Aysén in southern Patagonia, home to breathtaking glacial waterfalls fuelled by the snow-capped mountains of the Andes. The water in Aysén is said to be so fresh and cool, it imparts a unique flavour to the local beer.

The top 10 regions – 

  1. Choquequirao, Peru
  2. Taranaki, New Zealand
  3. Azores Islands, Portugal
  4. North Wales, United Kingdom
  5. South Australia
  6. Aysén, Chile
  7. Tuamotu Archipelago, French Polynesia
  8. Georgia Coast, USA
  9. Perak, Malaysia
  10. Ring of Skellig, Ireland

Best in Travel also showcases the top 10 value-for-money destinations globally as well as rankings of places to experience in Asia, Europe and the United States, as well exploring 2017’s newest travel trends.

You can see Lonely Planet’s recommendations at lonelyplanet.com/best-in-travel

DISCLAIMER: Lonely Planet has not endorsed or commissioned this article. This feature is based on a Spanish-language article from a third party.

SOURCES:

HEM News Agency, Twitter, Twitter Inc. https://twitter.com/halfeatenmind

Tweet Hispano, Twitter, Twitter Inc. https://twitter.com/TweetHispano

“Los mejores destinos turísticos para viajar en 2017 según ‘Lonely Planet’ ” – GrandesMedios.com/Grandes Medios (26 October 2016) https://www.grandesmedios.com/mejores-destinos-turisticos-2017/

“Best in Travel 2017” – Lonely Planet http://www.lonelyplanet.com/best-in-travel

IMAGE CREDIT:

“Free photo: Luggage, Holiday, Travel, Summer – Free Image on Pixabay – 1149289” – stux, Pixabay (29 December 2015) https://pixabay.com/en/luggage-holiday-travel-summer-sea-1149289/

SCIENCE EXPERIMENT: Making plasma in the microwave

 

A cool science experiment you can carry out at home in your kitchen for next to nothing in cost, and a chance to see plasma in action. Plasma is a state of material that is rarely encountered naturally on Earth but is a core component of stars.

The plasma is generated by a combination of combustion and the microwave’s electric fields. Electrons are pushed back and forth, colliding with air molecules. It is these collisions that science says causes the formation of a ‘plasmoid’ which being hotter that the surrounding air, causes it to rise up to the top.

This experiment is quite easy to set up and uses things like jars and matches that you can find around the house. Be warned however, that you should do your research beforehand, as the plasma experiment can go wrong if not set up properly. Also it’s best not to use your flatmate’s expensive microwave just in case.

SOURCES:

Vijay Shah { विजय }, Twitter, Twitter Inc. https://twitter.com/VShah1984

Elle Eff, Twitter, Twitter Inc. https://twitter.com/Elle_Eff247

Science GIFs, Twitter, Twitter Inc. https://twitter.com/Learn_Things

Chemical Reactions, Twitter, Twitter Inc. https://twitter.com/ChemistryReacts

“Make a ball of plasma in a microwave” – Amie, Wonder How To Science Experiments/WonderHowTo, Inc (6 September 2008) https://science.wonderhowto.com/how-to/make-ball-plasma-microwave-194331/

“Q & A: Plasma from a flame in the Microwave” – Tom, Ask the Van/Department of Physics – University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign (22 October 2007) https://van.physics.illinois.edu/qa/listing.php?id=819

VIJAY’S VIRASAT: Restaurant with a familiar name

Those of you who have been following this blog since the earliest days will now that the editor/blogger/journalist (i.e. me) who runs the blog is named Vijay. Those who know me in real life also know of my reputation as a bit of a foodie. So the next bit will be quite interesting.

I live in Ilford, just east of the big smoke in the United Kingdom they like to call London, and within a 5 or so mile radius from my home are three establishments involved in the food industry that bare my name. First, there’s Vijay’s Chawalla, a Gujarati vegetarian restaurant located in Green Street, Upton Park. I was fortunate enough to visit the Chawalla many eons ago and their fare is amazing and sumptuous. Jumping back to Ilford again, you can take a trip down the High Road to Seven Kings, where you can buy all your kitchen staples at Vijay’s General Store, situated on the Green Lane. Now before you all start thinking I’ve turned into some kind of Richard Branson figure, buying up stores and restaurants, living it up on a yacht moored in Monaco, and giving Tesco et al. nightmares in the boardroom, I do not own the above mentioned establishments. I’m just lucky enough to have the same first name. And of course, my family and friends use the resto names as good ammunition to tease me with.

 

 

Recently a new Indian restaurant has joined the Vijay’s club. With the catchy and alliterated desi name of Vijay’s Virasat, this eaterie found its forever home in Horns Road, Ilford, not far from the junction of the A12 motorway (Eastern Avenue) and Ley Street, just north of where HEM News Agency’s HQ is based. The area around the junction is a shopping and eating out paradise, home to many high street stores, homeware vendors and other restaurants such as Mirage and Restaurant Oasis. This part of the Newbury Park district lies slap-bang between two residential areas, so guaranteeing a healthy footfall from a business perspective.

Vijay’s Virasat  was brought to you by the Vijay behind the aforementioned Chawalla, and a Indian sweet shop called, not surprisingly, Vijay’s Sweet Mart. For three decades, my very astute namesake has been bringing vegetarian Indian food to the denizens of east London, and with Virasat, this is their first foray into the curry-and-poppadom sort of Indian cuisine most people in the UK are familiar with.

The restaurant, which unlike the other businesses in the Vijay’s portfolio offers non-veg in addition to veg, is a modern celebration of the culinary crossing over and intermingling of British and Indian cultures that took place during the days of the Empire, as well as the influences on Indian cooking from Central Asia, Portugal and the lands of Arabia. After many centuries of this cultural mixing in the kitchens of south Asia, it has culminated in the menu of Vijay’s Virasat, with its Mughal and regional influences, with a little East African food thrown in for the British Asians who came from there.

You get the standard things and dishes you would find in a Indian restaurant, such as a tandoor (clay oven) for making naans and chicken dishes and the usual curries, rice, rotis, snacks etc etc. There are two different types of starters available, with a choice of vegetable, chicken, lamb and seafood mains to tantalise your tastebuds.

Some unusual and different menu highlights include the ‘Chicken Lollipop’ (chicken drumsticks deep-fried in a Chinese batter and then tossed in a hot garlic sauce), the ‘Chicken 1965’, which is not a dodgy electro music outfit but “spicy fried chicken tempered with curry leaves, mustard seeds and chillies”, Konkani fish masala, chilli and garlic flavoured naans and matka kulfi, a type of ice cream.

Thankfully for my reputation, Vijay’s Virasat has largely been a hit with London’s spoilt-for-choice diners, with the restaurant achieving a rating of 4.7 out of five stars on Facebook, but hey that’s how us Vijays roll!!

I have not yet had a chance to sample the dishes and the ‘rapturous experience’ of dining at the Virasat, and it certainly looks good. When I get round to it, I’ll tell you all about it.

 

SOURCES/IMAGE CREDIT:

Vijay’s Virasat, Facebook, Facebook Inc. https://www.facebook.com/vijaysvirasat/

Vijay’s Virasat http://vijaysvirasat.com/ 

“About Us” – Vijay’s Virasat http://vijaysvirasat.com/#about-us

“Menu” – Vijay’s Virasat http://vijaysvirasat.com/#our-menus

“Reviews” – Vijay’s Virasat, Facebook, Facebook Inc. https://www.facebook.com/pg/vijaysvirasat/reviews/

 

IT CAME FROM UNDER THE BRIDGE: The different species of social media trolls

If you are a regular on the social media scene or frequent forums for subjects such as video games and politics, you may have already encountered a particularly troublesome type of internet user. They like to speak in CAPITAL LETTERS, throw around %^&£” insults and generally behave a nuisance and rile everyone else up. Having a mature, informed and adult conversation with these users is wishful thinking. Make way for the troll. Named for the grotesque monsters living under bridges in Three Billy Goats Gruff and other fairy tales of olde, the internet troll is not likely to eat you but will definitely chew up your self-confidence and online experience if they decide you are next on the menu.

 

In recent years, the act of trolling has become more noticed in the news headlines as social media becomes entrenched in our daily lives. A quick perusal of the comments under any popular YouTube video, for example, will expose you to more swear words and put-downs than any dictionary could ever teach. Filled with verbal bile and hiding behind a (nearly) anonymous screen, internet trolls have become more and more brazen, even targeting famous celebrities, politicians and others in the public eye with vitriol, degrading words and even death threats. Many trolls engage in cyber bullying, usually targeted against the young, which can be just as vicious as bullying in Real Life, but with the more damaging impact that the hurtful words and memes can spread far beyond school or college gates and appear in front of millions of eyes globally.

As the world increasingly is more connected online, trolls have emerged from the darkness in greater numbers, and policymakers are now beginning to sit up and take notice of the problems they cause. In the U.K. several trolls have already fallen foul of the law after engaging in malicious online communications with people they did not like the look of. Legal guidelines have been contemplated that will make extreme trolling punishable by up to two years imprisonment.

Informational website Basic Infos has studied the phenomenon of the internet troll with an almost scientific approach, dividing them into ‘species’ based on their activities. Below are the different types of troll that you need to steer clear of when on the web.

Grammar Corrector Troll: The online grammar Nazi, these trolls are relatively harmless, but can be infuriatingly pedantic. They will call you out on typos in your comments. Some may actually be angels in disguise, simply helping you to improve your spelling, punctuation or factual knowledge, and mean no ill will. The more hellbent ones of this species however, will mock you and often question your intelligence or education, especially in debates or discussions of controversial topics. However even spelling bee champions can fall foul of autocorrect, so the grammar corrector troll may turn out to be a hypocrite.

Headline Reading Troll: These trolls frequent news sites. They generally have low attention spans and will spend more time writing an acerbic comment that actually reading the article they are commenting on. As they have only read as far as the headline, they will start typing up controversy and saying things without knowing the full story. For example, trolls who insult all British Pakistanis based on an article about child sexual attacks where the perpetrator was non-Asian.

Meme Master Troll: This variety tends to be more creative, and employ the viral nature of memes to push forth their twisted opinions. Some of this species who possess a slightly higher IQ and some dexterity will even cook up their own derisory memes. They let these memes do the talking for them and are literal believers in the expression ‘a picture tells a thousand insults’. While offensive at times, some meme masters can be quite hilarious and they have the advantage of adding a bit of pictorial spice to otherwise serious debates.

ITK Troll: To give it its full scientific name, the ‘I Too Know’ troll is smarter than other species, with sometimes encyclopaedic knowledge, or as the Americans say, a ‘smartass’. Unlike other semi-intellectuals however, the ITK troll uses their advanced knowledge of politics, culture, sports or cat pictures to harass and put down other users, especially those considered newbies. These trolls are the online equivalent of that smug smart guy at work or the pub who is a know-it-all and is not afraid to let everyone know it.

Clap Back Troll: These trolls will appear if you make a comment that is the perfect answer or adds weight to a conversation. They will sarcastically agree with you or put you down. The rarest of the species of troll.

Certified Abuser Troll: This species is further subdivided into two sub-species. One of which is in a position of power, i.e. an admin for a Facebook page, but uses their place of authority to pee off other commentators and pick on others while they get high off their clearly abused power. The other breed consists of individuals who will go to extreme lengths to dig up your external links, profiles or older comments and use them to publicly humiliate, attack or counter-argue you with. Basically being beaten with your own e-shoes.

 

Everywhere Troll: Like their microscopic cousin, the dust mite, the everywhere troll is found literally, everywhere.They comment so frequently that they almost become minor celebrities in their little online worlds. Trolling is a full-time career for them, and their experience makes them one of the most dangerous species of troll. The everywhere troll can often be found doing their 9-5 across a range of social media. Despite their dedication to their hobby, most everywhere trolls are unemployed or unemployable, which gives them plenty of free time to go cause some trouble.

Researcher Troll: Another of the more intellectual groupings of troll, the researcher is a whizz at Google, Bing and company. They will claim your comment is wrong, inaccurate or downright stupid and will trawl the web, returning within a few minutes or hours with a link or image aiming to disprove you. Like the Grammar Corrector troll, this species can be beneficial and can teach you a few things but the more malicious specimens will use their new-found facts to crap all over you in front of other participants. Like the ITK troll, the researchers tend to be more intelligent than the average troll, but still an annoyance.

Capital Letter-Loving Troll: LIKES TO TALK LIKE THIS. They may be a victim of a broken Caps Lock key, but more likely, this heavily opinionated variant feels the need to SHOUT their comment or opinion so everyone can feed their insatiable need to be NOTICED. Tend to be quite argumentative and thinks they know everything. Keep calm and ignore. My own addition to this list.

Cyberbully: My second addition to this list, the cyberbully is the breed that would be on the Dangerous Dogs List if you could keep trolls as pets. By far the most pathetic, lowdown and twisted of the various troll species, the cyberbully’s activities make the deeds of all other trolls pale into insignificance in comparison. This troll, sadly a common species, will insult you, demean you, degrade you into the ground and even leave their laptop and make a physical appearance if pushed far enough. These trolls are the ones who are headline gold for news editors. These pointless individuals have caused the most damage to the web experience. Unlike most trolls, which you can safely ignore, the cyberbully needs to be fumigated with a phone call to your local police service or cyberbullying hotline.

Remember folks, trolls are energised by the oxygen of publicity, and if you don’t feed the troll, it will go find some other bridge to play under. Most trolls just want an audience and to provoke a response from you, and most will eventually get the chop once the website owner closes their account or permabans their sorry behinds. If the troll takes it too far, you have witnesses and proof to report them. Don’t get trolled, Rick roll them back. The report link is your best friend. When encountering whichever species of troll behaving badly, the best thing is to ignore them, as it is the perfect troll repellent.

SOURCES:

HEM News Agency, Twitter, Twitter Inc. https://twitter.com/halfeatenmind

Ramat Lami‏, Twitter, Twitter Inc. https://twitter.com/Ramat_Lami

“SEE THE DIFFERENT KIND OF TROLLS YOU FIND ON SOCIAL MEDIA THESE DAYS” – Basic Infos/BasicInfosNG [ GAE Enterprise Ltd.] https://www.basicinfos.com/trolls-you-find-on-social-media/

IMAGE CREDITS:

“Troll” – Doug Wildman, Flickr (4 May 2006) https://www.flickr.com/photos/34585748@N00/321902708

“File:Man uses laptop (1).jpg” – Bill Branson & National Cancer Institute, Wikimedia Commons (June 2004) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Man_uses_laptop_(1).jpg

SULLEE J: Reborn [Video] ft. Beast 1333

 

Baltimore’s Sullee Justice features artist Beast 1333 of the Temple of Hip Hop organisation and UK’s DJ Trickalome on the second single “Reborn” produced by Dansonn beats off his upcoming album. This track was made in the hopes of reviving listeners from the darkest thoughts and deepest of pains. From the increasing rate of suicide our world is facing and the lack of support people receive in the times of need, music like this is appreciated. This song not only will help you feel better, but hopefully gives you an alternative outlook and saves you from yourself. We all have had moments where we have felt like nothing else matters and why do we even need to exist anymore. We ask ourselves, would it make a difference if we were here any longer? This song speaks to you! This song tells you why you’re important and why you matter and why you must belong. Listen and “Be Reborn”.

 

iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/album/id1262221104?ls=1&app=itunes

@Beast1333
@SulleeJ85
@Trickalome

SOURCES:

Sullee J Management.