UK HOLIDAYS: Natural sights most popular for holidaymakers in 2017

London – VIJAY SHAH and SWNS digital

 

A recent poll on holidays and days out choices among British tourists has found that trips to the country’s peaks are the most popular. The scenic Lake District area of north England topped the choices at number one attraction people most want to visit, overtaking the Peak District in the county of Derbyshire and Wales’ highest mountain, Snowdon.

While mountains were the most popular options for communing with nature, the poll participants also voted for seaside locations like piers and beaches, as well as museums. The results were drawn from a list of fifty leading U.K. attractions devised by transport firm National Express. A thousand people were surveyed for the poll.

National Express’ managing director, Chris Hardy, said: “They say the best things in life are free and we hope our list inspires people to get out and explore somewhere new – without breaking the bank.

“It’s great to see that Brits appreciate the natural sights that the UK has to offer, and the sheer volume of beauty spots on this list goes to show that you’re never far from something stunning to see on a day out.”

Despite being the epicentre of British tourism for both national and international visitors, London made a poor showing in the results, with only one of the capital’s prime attractions, the Natural History Museum, making the top ten locations for days out. The museum only made it to ninth place. Twenty-three other museums across the country also featured, including smaller, region-specific museums such as the Royal Pump Rooms in Leamington Spa, central England. A few cathedrals also made the list.

SOURCE/IMAGE CREDIT:

“Natural Views and Scenery Dominate in List of UK’s Favourite Days Out” – SWNS digital/72Point (23 April 2017) http://www.swnsdigital.com/2017/04/natural-views-and-scenery-dominate-in-list-of-uks-favourite-days-out/

LONDON BRIDGE EXPERIENCE & TOMBS: A photography collection

(c) The London Bridge Experience & London Tombs.
(c) The London Bridge Experience & London Tombs.

By Vijay Shah

I have just returned from a day out to central London with a good mate, visiting the London Bridge Experience and London Tombs deep underneath the famous eponymous bridge. The attraction’s main entrance is under the bridge in a secluded alley accessible by an unassuming set of stairs from Tooley Street.

The London Bridge Experience revolves around the London Bridge, its use and its history, from the simple crossing the occupying Romans built for their provincial capital of Londinium, right up until to the establishment of the current modern concrete bridge opened by the Queen in the 1960’s to soothe London’s growing traffic levels.

It is not the scariest attraction in the world, but it comes tantalisingly close. Live actors are really absorbed in their roles and enthusiastically take you through a quick whistle-stop tour of the bridge’s history, including a ‘classroom tutorial’ of the morbidly venerable art of “hanging drawing and quartering”, complete with experimental corpse.

We felt our stomachs turn as a friendly butcher/entrepreneur allowed us to sit huddled in the pews of his humble chapel before trying to flog it to us for the respectable price of 200 guineas. For those not so deep in the pockets, there was always the option of freshly-caught skunk to sample, from his dingy 17th century meat shop.

You soon find yourself in the company of a mad scientist as you learn about the ‘Great Stink’ when London’s river Thames was heavily polluted with sewage and corpses of the poor. The stench was intense enough during summer to shut down Parliament and drive people out of the city. We passed though a ‘time tunnel’ with swirling rainbow lights and a metal walkway that yawled to one side, making you think it would completely upend itself and send you falling into the Twilight Zone. Fortunately I was able to hold down my chicken coronation sandwich, Mars drink and Boost bar with relative ease. Revolving vomit doth not make thyself very well-likede.

The London Tombs involves passing in a weird conga line through a series of dark tunnels and rooms, some resembling Chucky’s bedroom or the operation theatre of a defunct psychiatric ward. Decapitated heads and other bodily extremities suspended from the ceilings vie with spooky spiderwebs to scare the living crap out of you.

The guy in the tank top who went around armed with a revved-up chainsaw; while trying to hack off chunks out of us and 27 or so assorted foreign tourists deserves the award for most scary scene actor. I should get the award for bravest soul there. I was at the start of the conga line of doom and had to be the guinea-pig that bore the brunt of the demented noise, flashing lights and disfigured corpsey things that spewed from every dark musty corridor…I definitely needed that Dr. Pepper from the vending machine afterwards.

Apparently legend has it that the tourist hotspot was built over the graveyard of long-buried medieval townspeople, many of whose skeletons were discovered by builders working at the site. Human remains included the skulls of murderers and traitors who were beheaded and had their heads positioned on spikes as a warning to others.

Actors and other staff, as well as the London Tomb’s visitors, have reported sightings of spirits and even the ghoulish laughter of children deep beneath these labyrinthine catacombs.

Proceeding henceforth is some of the pictures I took around the venue and outside its premises, while I and my friend were killing time before the 4:00 pm start. Photography of the venue’s interior is forbidden and mobile phones have to be kept on silent, so I snapped everything of interest outside.

Comments in italics are comments I wrote for most of the photos when I posted them just now on Facebook. This is for the benefit of those who do not have me as a friend there but want to have a taste of my sometimes hilarious, sometimes stale sense of humour.

(c) V. Shah/HalfEatenMind

“The Funky Pigeon store at London Bridge station…I always thought these guys were strictly online!”

The outlet of the DIY greetings cards store Funky Pigeon built into an alcove at London Bridge tube and rail station.

(c) V. Shah/HalfEatenMind

“Hi, we’re Network Rail…welcome to our fine city…experience our five star service…with delays and engineering works unparalleled in the history of crappy transport management”

The rail network owner’s welcome sign greets the hundreds of thousands of visitors passing every month through the station’s turnstiles.

(c) V. Shah/HalfEatenMind

“Nearby rival the London Dungeons. Thankfully no West Ham vs. Millwall style fights broke out between the two venues”

Neighbouring attraction the London Dungeons, just a few yards down Tooley Street.

(c) V. Shah/HalfEatenMind

The ticket office where last-minute visitors pick up their ‘scare fares’. My mate had the intelligent foresight to buy our tickets online, at a slightly discounted price.

(c) V. Shah/HalfEatenMind

“Where Jigsaw goes to get tips….”

The Circus of Fear – one of the seasonal attractions that the London Tombs set up.

(c) V. Shah/HalfEatenMind

If you’re scared sh**less, there’s always the option of a stiff manly JD and Coke.

A local drinking establishment offering fine beverages and a few games of snooker.

(c) V. Shah/HalfEatenMind

The Shard – London’s tallest multi-purpose skyscraper. The venerated deity of the Half-Eaten Mind. The Blog’s very first post was on the life story of this edifice.

(c) V. Shah/HalfEatenMind

“The Shard…still being a Shard.”

(c) V. Shah/HalfEatenMind

Nearby advertising, tailor-fitted for the bridge!.

(c) V. Shah/HalfEatenMind

“Looks like a sick game”

A closer look at the bridge’s advertising hoarding. It is for the soon to be released fourth installment of the massively-popular Halo games series.

(c) V. Shah/HalfEatenMind

“A view across the Thames looking towards the docks of Shadwell, Poplar or some other ex-maritime dump.”

Looking towards the river Thames towards our beloved East London.

(c) V. Shah/HalfEatenMind

The river side leading towards Tower Bridge.

(c) V. Shah/HalfEatenMind

The sunset is clear and ethereal, I swivelled myself around to take this picture of the riverine skyline. Ignore the chavs in the foreground.

(c) V. Shah/HalfEatenMind

The London Bridge City office complex, a shining example of our city’s contemporary architectural finesse.

(c) V. Shah/HalfEatenMind

Another view of the same building, with its stairwell and courtyard. The mud of the Thames at low tide evokes a sharp reminder of the natural and man-made coexisting, yet entirely separable and worlds apart.

(c) V. Shah/HalfEatenMind

I think that is HMS Belfast moored there, possibly for tomorrow’s Remembrance Day celebrations.

The Thames is the lifeblood of London’s commerce and tourism industry. Indeed it was the training ground for Britain’s erstwhile empire-building might and it’s still very potent military prowess. I had never realised that ships ever required camouflage. I would have expected it to be blue or a silvery grey with some wave patterns for that extra special covert surveillance touch.

(c) V. Shah/HalfEatenMind

“A local haunt for skateboarders”

We witnessed some youths doing gnarly tricks with their skateboards next to this monument as well as a nearby multi-storey car park.

(c) V. Shah/HalfEatenMind

“Funky disco pavement.”

These LED lights formed a mysterious futuristic accessory to an otherwise drab London pavement –  something more to be expected of Tokyo. It must be impossible for parents of young children to even get to the other end of the street such is the allurement of this feature…”Mum, Dad, look, Christmas lights, oh wow….I want one!

(c) V. Shah/HalfEatenMind

“Entrance…to the Crypts. Cue thunderclaps and dramatic organ music”

(c) V. Shah/HalfEatenMind

A night time scene at a typical central London bus stop. Always packed as to be expected, but then the lights of the city invite people closer to its crazy flow and hedonism like eager moths to the light bulb of new experiences.

(c) V. Shah/HalfEatenMind

Keyring with a real scorpion incarcerated in resin

One of a couple of souvenirs I picked up from the gift shop at the end of the gruesome Tombs tour. There were also similar keyrings and necklaces with creatures trapped in the modern-day version of amber, ranging from metallic jewel beetles to chunkier scarabs. There were even desk paperweights with tarantulas in them. Sure to keep the Post-It thieves off of pillaging your workstation. Manufactured by Millennium Arts.

(c) V. Shah/HalfEatenMind

A spooky dogtag perched here on my denim-covered knee..a pun on those ubiquitous ” I Heart London/NY/Huckabees/my neighbour’s pot stash” T-shirts that were all the rage in the Nineties. The picture below has the same tag’s reverse side.

(c) V. Shah/HalfEatenMind

“All the style and PR power of a business card but without the sharp corners and paper cuts”

LONDON BRIDGE EXPERIENCE AND LONDON TOMBS

http://thelondonbridgeexperience.com/

A little fun in Piccadilly

While we at the Half-Eaten Mind like to be serious and write about serious matters, we got a suggestion to add a more personalised feel to the blog articles…well at least we decided we could always occasionally publish something to that effect…we have also been contemplating adding reviews to our repertoire too…definitely watch this space! 🙂

 

By Vijay Shah

Yesterday, to celebrate my younger brother’s 20th birthday, we decided to get together with some friends/family for a night out on the tiles in Soho in the City of Westminster. Plenty of fun, ridiculous dancing and hilarious banter from our good mate and joker-in-residence Tom. Our port of call was the Gem Bar (10 Beak Street, Soho, London W1F 9RA, http://www.gem-bar.co.uk/).

People dancing in ways that aren’t even anatomically possible to loud pop and dancehall tunes blaring from a DJ tucked away discreetly in a corner. Guys in England shirts celebrating the Euro match triumph over Sweden; punching the air in delight and whooping ecstatically. Push fights in the bar lobby and nauseous blokes resting their drunken heads while security staff try to keep the peace. Everyone in their own little world. It’s another night in central London.

Gem Bar was good, great music, polite staff and a party-vibe atmosphere where everyone is in a happy, let-your-hair-down mood. It was packed out with ravers with very little room to move but I’d expected that. The music was hot and so was the atmosphere. No, really. It was unbelievably sweaty and humid in there. Definitely wise of our party to leave the jackets and suits in the cloakroom, and we prayed that nothing got pilfered, which thankfully it didn’t. Top marks to the Gem Bar staff!.

Getting home was a mission entirely. There were arguments about whether we should be getting home in a cab, which would have had meant a tenner (£10) off everyone, or whether we should have just piled onto the nearest 25 bus heading down Ilford way. We settled for the bus, only to find the nearest bus stops were out of service. Cue walking around for ages up and down Oxford Circus and Piccadilly until our feet were swelling up. Sitting around on the subway ledges at the local Tube station in a futile search for any cheap form of transport going eastwards. A quick stopover at a pizza parlour for early morning recovery snacks. The pleasure of witnessing a ginger Irishman protest to the pizza guys about being ripped off by “bastards”, while dropping his change all over the damn floor. Nearly got ripped off ourselves by a cab driver in a seven-seater.

Just as dawn broke, we found ourselves at a bus stop opposite a motorway flyover in Camden, freezing our thookas off. Finally made it back to home base an hour-or-so later. Phew, what a day, what memories!!

While we were traipsing around, I thought I’d take a few photos of places we passed by. London can be a beautiful place at night. These photos I have to say are not great, and certainly wouldn’t make even the cutting room floor for a travel brochure. But I do have a bit of a photographic ‘je ne sais quoi’. It’s a shame that I had overlooked the numerous pedicab and rickshaw drivers jetting past or the lads jokingly dry-humping each other on the pavement near Niketown. I will do better next time, I promise.

All photos (c) V. Shah/HEM